and everytime another life
by mercywestforever
Summary: The five ways April Kepner could react. / AU set in 10x13


This is just a Little one-shot of how 10x13 could go. It's highly unlikely that any of those cases will actually happen but it was fun to write them and I hope you have fun reading them!

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters mentioned. All the rights to them and Grey's Anatomy belong to shondaland and ABC. **

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><p><em>We like to take some time to make life-changing decisions. We want nights to sleep on them and we make pro and con lists. We take time to consider every possible option before we settle on one. That is if we have the time to do so.<em>

She takes a deep breath as her whole world starts spinning. She can't believe what's happening, can't believe what he just did. Has he any idea what situation he just put her in? What is she supposed to do?

There is an endless amount of thoughts going through her head in that moment but soon one stands out, a simple question, 'Why didn't he say all of this earlier?'.

Why didn't he tell her all this when she was freaking out because she thought she was betraying Jesus because their relationship wasn't serious? Why didn't he tell her this when he proposed to her and she thought that he only did it because of the baby? Why didn't he tell her when she told him that they couldn't be friends because she was still hung up on him? Why didn't he tell her when she first asked him for dating advice and she wasn't in too deep? Why didn't he tell her when her patient died and they almost kissed? Why didn't he tell her when Matthew broke with her and he told her that he didn't regret them?

Why didn't he tell her when she asked him too and she told him that she wanted him?

Why didn't he tell her when she asked for his blessing?

Why didn't he tell her when it wasn't too late?

Because it is now. Because she's standing at the altar with someone else right now. Because when she walked into this barn she chose Matthew and a future with him. Because she moved on when she thought that he didn't want her. Because she's over him and in that moment she realizes for the first time that that's actually the truth.

So when she answers him, "No.", she means it.

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><p>She takes a deep breath as her whole world starts spinning. She can't believe what's happening, can't believe what he just did. Has he any idea what situation he just put her in? What is she supposed to do?<p>

Her eyes flit over to him again trying to gauge his reaction. Her look is pleading, one last time, she thinks. Maybe he'll finally hear her pleas this time around. This is his last chance, the last time she silently asks him to do something, the last 'now or never'.

She hopes that he gets it, that he stills understands her even after all this time, all the hurt, the misunderstandings, the pretending and the hidden feelings.

She knows that it's unlikely to happen because they both have supposedly moved on, found love with other people. It's not like they where serious once. For most of their friends their brief fling is a distant memory, a mistake they forgot about. But for her it's not. It's still constantly on her mind but the more time passes, the longer he just sits there she begins to think that it isn't the same for him, probably never was.

She is about to give up for good this time when the unthinkable happens.

"Don't.", the eyes of the already shocked audience turn to him most of them surprised by the new turn, "Don't say that you love him. Don't marry Matthew. I know I have been an ass to you and I know that I've treated you badly, Kepner but that's not because I don't like you.", he wears his typical growl and his hurt girlfriend sits beside him.

"Because I do, I like you. So, don't marry him and don't run off into the sunset with Avery."

And she just smiles.

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><p>She takes a deep breath as her whole world starts spinning. She can't believe what's happening, can't believe what he just did. Has he any idea what situation he just put her in? What is she supposed to do?<p>

She takes another breath and then another and another. And yet, she's still breathless. The world around her keeps Spinning, a million thoughts running through her head, thousands of emotions causing her heart to pump the blood faster, faster, faster.

The dead silence is replaced with hushed whispers that become louder, louder, louder in her head. She's still not getting enough air, her breathing becoming labored. Her head begins to throb and she feels dizzy.

She feels everyone's eyes burning into her skin and it gets harder, harder, harder for her to breath.

Her knees give in under the weight of the situation and as she falls to the floor of the barn she slips easily into unconsciousness.

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><p>She takes a deep breath as her whole world starts spinning. She can't believe what's happening, can't believe what he just did. Has he any idea what situation he just put her in? What is she supposed to do?<p>

She knows that she has to make a decision, that she has to choose one man over the other. She also knows that hearts are going to be broken no matter what and that she'll be the reason.

And suddenly all she can think of is the day they first visited the barn, the day they picked it for their wedding. She remembers how she fell in love with the fact that it was possible to open the back. She loved the idea to have the beautiful landscape on display during the ceremony, to have the feeling that they were outside instead of inside.

That is what she remembers when she's supposed to make one of the most important decisions of her life. She remembers the open back, the endless fields that are behind the barn. She remembers that there aren't any fences, no barriers that could hold her back.

And then she runs.

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><p>She takes a deep breath as her whole world starts spinning. She can't believe what's happening, can't believe what he just did. Has he any idea what situation he just put her in? What is she supposed to do?<p>

Her eyes keep locked to his and he looks so scared and she realizes that she is, too, scared because this is more than any of them ever said about their feelings, their relationship. And she's scared because she's supposed to marry another another man right now but she can't bring herself to deny him.

She's aware of the fact that this probably isn't the best moment for his declaration but she can't help but think that in a weird way it fits them. Because their relationship or better lack thereof has always been formed by bad timing.

She finally acted on her feelings on the night before their boards, the exam they had been working towards to their whole lives, they started sleeping with each other when they weren't even really friends anymore and the pregnancy scare happened when she had finally come to terms with the situation as it was. He started dating the intern too early causing her to move on because she was afraid of being left behind alone. She admitted her feelings when he was too hurt by her accepting another man's proposal and those there just a few examples. So somehow it fitted them that he would finally realize that he loved her when she was about to marry someone else.

But there was something different now from all those other times because this time she wouldn't let the bad timing get in the way of them.

Because apart from everything else, she was sure of her feelings and of what her answer was.

Sure, she would have rather done this all without humiliating so many people publicly,the heartbreak would be there anyway, but if it was going to be this way then she had to accept that and go from there.

"I do love you."

_The fact is that in most of the cases we don't have the time to consider options because we have to make the decision right away. In a split-second we have to chose something that will change our entire life. The question is whether that is something bad. When we don't have time to think about it we have to go with our gut, it leaves us no other options. If we have the time we tend to over-think things and we rationalize them. In end we have to ask ourselves if that makes the decision better._

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><p><strong>I hope you liked it! I simply had to put AK2 in there :D It would be great if you could leave a review!<strong>


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